P & P & LOLOL

In an earlier blog, I posted some P & P text conversations, and for this post, I’m giving that another go…again with P & P. This is totally and completely because I love that book and not at all because I couldn’t think of anything clever for the other books.  Like last time, assume I’m about a decade behind in the text lingo. 

Painting of a Regency ballroom scene, entitled The Ball Room by Thomas Rowlandson

Bingley: Are you so excited for the ball tonight?

Darcy: Meh

Bingley: The Bennet sisters are going.  I heard they’re so hot they can smoke a beehive just by walking near it.

Darcy: OK, where did you get that? Did you make it up yourself?

Bingley: What are you wearing? I’ve changed my outfit like five times already.

Darcy: Or did someone in this town say it to you?

Bingley: I’m going with my grey jacket. Final answer.  Unless you think I should wear the black one?

Darcy: Someone in this town did say it, didn’t they? See, that’s why I told you to check the area out before you just up and move here.

Bingley: Nm. The grey jacket makes my shoulders look weird.

I’m overthinking this, aren’t I?

I mean, it’s not like I’m going to meet the woman I’m going to marry tonight.

Darcy: Did you even look for a place in Lambton? No one talks like that in Lambton.

***

Mr. Collins giving Elizabeth a flower

Collins: Hello wifey!

Lizzy: I told you not to call me that. We’re not getting married.

Collins: LOL!

Lizzy: I totally hate it when I say something serious, and you say LOL.

Collins: It’s cute the way you throw your womanly authority around before our marriage.

But Elizabeth? It won’t be cute after our marriage, FYI.

Lizzy: That’s why we are NOT getting married.

Collins: LOL!

***

Elizabeth and Darcy dancing, not looking at each other, both with serious faces

Bingley: So?? What happened??

Darcy: She said no.

Bingley: No? To you? But you’re so rich.

Darcy: That’s what I said!

Bingley: You didn’t.

Darcy: No, of course not. I just said I was richer than her.

Bingley: Darcy.

Darcy: What?

It’s the truth.

I’m richer than you too.  I don’t see you getting all mad about it.

Bingley?

***

Mr. Collins and Charlotte, holding hands

Collins: Hi wifey!

Charlotte: Hi. I’m helping Maria with something right now.  I’ll talk to you later.

Collins: Bye wifey!

***

Darcy sitting at a desk writing a letter

Darcy: So I fixed everything.

Bingley: She said she wouldn’t marry you if you were the last man on Earth. How did you fix that?

Darcy: I wrote her an email!

Bingley: Really. What’d you say?

Darcy: Well, first I told her not to worry that I was going to propose again since that made her dry heave last time.

Bingley: How romantic?

Darcy: Right? Reverse psychology!

Bingley: What else did you say?

Darcy: I said this one thing that I can’t tell you about it.  But it was really good.  Then I said this other thing that, oh. I can’t tell you about that either. 

Bingley: And then?

Darcy: And then I put a cat meme because who doesn’t love a good cat meme?

Darcy: So? What do you think?

Bingley: Uh, sounds like you nailed it.

Darcy: Yes!! Should I book the church now or wait a day?

Nm. Just booked it!

Cat that looks like it's smiling

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